Mmmm . . . BACON

Spent a GREAT day with my Aunt Tish. For Christmas, I promised her a trip to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, as she is a founding member but had never visited. Today was the day - and given how dicey Ohio weather in February can be, we really lucked out. Despite high winds, it was sunny and in the 50s.

We hit First Watch for breakfast then headed up to Cleveland. Monday is a great day to visit - traffic was light and parking was a breeze. The museum was not crowded at all - we were able to browse at leisure. We saw everything we wanted to then headed out for lunch at B Spot in Woodmere.

#38 on my list is to try the bacon milkshake at B Spot - today was the day for that, too. It was, in a word, AMAZING. Seriously, don't knock it 'til you try it. I had mine without bourbon but I imagine it would be pretty awesome with it, too. And the burgers . . . mine was heaped with grilled onions, cheddar cheese, pickles, and a lot of yummy mayo. My aunt's arrived with fried bologna, coleslaw, and American cheese. Oh. My. So. Good. We decided that their burgers are, without a doubt, the BEST around!

Wabi-sabi

Perfectionism is sneaky – it takes on so many forms: A “perfectly” clean and decorated house. Extremely high standards for your work. A “perfectly” healthy diet and exercise schedule. Unrealistic expectations for situations (“I want this Christmas/milestone birthday/vacation to be perfect”). It can even show up as harmless compulsions (“Yes, the silverware drawer MUST be laid out like this”).

And I’m sure you know what’s really behind perfectionism. Control.

As I get older, I’ve tried to relax my grip on this. Acknowledge that there isn’t much I really CAN control, except for my own thoughts, actions, and reactions. It’s not been easy. Though my house has NEVER been perfectly decorated (my interior design style could be described, at best, as “Random Crap,” I mean, “Eclectic”), I used to drive my husband nuts when it came to cleaning: there was a “right” way to clean the bathroom/fold the towels/make the beds/get every piece of cat hair off the furniture. When I first lost weight and started watching what I ate, there was my subconscious desire to have a “perfect” diet. And God knows there have been plenty of holidays and trips that ended up being a lot less fun than due to my unrealistic expectations.

Like my disordered eating, becoming a mom is kind of what saved me from myself. No, I haven’t let housekeeping go to hell in a hand-basket, but I have realized that on the weekends, I would rather play with my kid than have a perfectly cat hair-free living room. I do strive to provide a healthy diet for my family but realize that occasional fast food won’t kill us. I’ve never really argued with the boy about what he wants to wear. My rule is that as long as he’s wearing somewhat weather-appropriate clothing, it doesn’t really matter whether it matches.

On a related note - keeping belongings in “perfect condition” - I’m realizing the transient and insignificant nature of material things. I bought an expensive purse (which I LOVE) as part of my “40” list. Then, the damn thing started wearing unusually fast. I took it back to the store and the salesperson agreed that it shouldn’t be wearing out so quickly – she sent it back to the manufacturer for me. The manufacturer decided it was normal wear and tear. At first, I was SO pissed – I paid a lot of money for that stupid thing to start wearing out in just three months! I was ready to send nasty letters, yell on Facebook, and generally have a fit. But a quiet voice in my head said, “It doesn’t matter. It’s just a purse.” I looked at it and thought, “Yep, it still works. It may not look perfect, but it’s good enough.”

No, I’m not ready to give up all my belongings. I LOVE clothes, accessories, make-up, dishes, bedding, organizing bins, kitchen tools, and more. But I’m accepting that if they are less than perfect (e.g. some marker on the dining room table, a snag in a shirt, chipped or broken glasses), that it’s OK and not worth getting upset about.

The Compulsive List-Maker

Like many women I know, I LOVE lists. I love writing them, I love ticking tasks off of them. I love that they keep me organized and help me to focus. List-making is definitely one of the ways I simplify my life. I certainly have enough of them! In fact, here's a list of my lists:

- My "40 Before 40" list that spurred this blog and then the lists that sprang from THAT (tracking 40 beers, tracking 40 recipes, tracking 50 miles in races . . .)

- My gratitude journal

- A grocery list template on my laptop that I print, then circle what I need

- At work, I live and die by my task list in Outlook

- The list of all the books I read

- When the boy was an infant, I kept lists of all his feedings and the amounts (OK, so maybe I'm a little compulsive)

- My spiral-bound notebook in which I write to-do lists every weekend (I really look forward to sitting down with coffee on Saturday mornings and making these)

- At New Year's, I make a list that is more goals than resolutions; then, I keep a list throughout the year tracking my progress (e.g. a library visit every month)

- Finally, one of my favorite list exercises, that was suggested to me by my friend, Debbie V.: I have a journal in which I write about Ben on the 19th of every month. I track any milestones, funny things he's said, new experiences we've had, or anything else noteworthy. Since I'm not a scrapbooker, this journal has been wonderful for recording snapshots as he grows. I love looking back through it and hope that one day, he or his wife or his kids will enjoy it, as well.

"Real Food," part 2

To continue the story . . . I DID gain some weight, start ovulating, and get knocked up. After swearing off red meat for years, I CRAVED meat and cheese while I was pregnant. (My husband nearly cried with joy when I demanded to be taken out to dinner for ribs in my first trimester.)

I was blessed with a very healthy, happy pregnancy. I was able to exercise, I ate well, and I enjoyed watching my tummy get bigger every day. (And don’t get me started on my pregnancy boobs – I still miss ‘em.) Not long after the boy was born, I was back to running and working out – but fortunately, with a “normal” relationship with food.

I still strove to eat “healthfully.” I bought organic food and low-calorie yogurts and other “light” foods (and way too much Splenda - in drinks, desserts, hot cereals, etc.). I also bought a lot of convenience foods like Trader Joe’s frozen foods, Lean Cuisines, and canned soups. Though I liked to cook, I would grab something out of the freezer when I didn’t feel like it or didn’t have time.

Then I heard an interview with Michael Pollan on NPR. I was intrigued and read his book “In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto.” Here’s a great summary of that book, from his website:

. . . most of what we’re consuming today is not food, and how we’re consuming it — in the car, in front of the TV, and increasingly alone — is not really eating. Instead of food, we’re consuming “edible foodlike substances” — no longer the products of nature but of food science. The result is what Michael Pollan calls the American paradox: The more we worry about nutrition, the less healthy we seem to become.

I love that last sentence – it really strikes a chord. And I love his biggest piece of advice: “Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much.” Shortly after “Eater’s Manifesto,” I read “Food Rules” and saw the movie “Food, Inc.” I became convinced about the importance of eating “real” food – that is, food that doesn’t come in packaging with health claims. Food with ingredients I can recognize and pronounce. When feasible, food that is local and in season, or at least, not flown in from halfway around the world.

To sum up – I now try to:
• Cook! Just cook. Doesn’t have to be fancy
• Cook with butter and olive oil, real eggs (no “Egg Beaters”) and bacon (LOVE bacon!!)
• Keep “real” food – rice, couscous, pasta, veggies (fresh, frozen and some canned), cheese – on hand for quick, easy meals
• Eat lots of fruits and vegetables (organic and/or local whenever possible)
• Eat beef that it is locally raised or at least, grass-fed (and I often opt for local bison, instead)
• Eat what I am really craving instead of a substitute (no “diet” desserts or cookies)
• Make Subway my fast food fallback but yes – I’ll occasionally take the boy to McDonald’s for a Happy Meal (full disclosure – I love their fries).
• Buy fat-free or lowfat organic milk and yogurt – and make a point to avoid yogurts (or anything else) with artificial sweeteners or high-fructose corn syrup
• When I do buy packaged foods, focus on the ingredients and the quality instead of the calorie or fat count
• Avoid most “convenience” foods – again, in the spirit of full disclosure, I must admit my husband and I LOVE Amy’s Organic frozen pizza and the boy LOVES Annie’s Organic mac & cheese (my rationale: it’s organic, right?).
• Find the time to bake instead of buying packaged cookies or desserts

If you’re interested in learning more, check out Michael Pollan’s books, anything by Mark Bittman, and “The Cleaner Plate Club: Raising Healthy Eaters One Meal at a Time” by Beth Bader and Ali Benjamin.